Whew. I was wholly unprepared for the white middle class woman culture of dieting. I only recently figured out that one never has to actually become thin or "fit", which I have no idea what that means. They must only perform WANTING to become it. Thus, the apps, tips, etc.https://twitter.com/sadmillennium/status/1034801736316342272 …
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There was a template for this in my cultural toolkit. You are supposed to be eternally suspended in almost-thinness. I have no idea how to do that. To perform it, I download food tracking apps and learn to say "whole 30" every second day of the week. That seems to help.
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But really the near-obsessive focus on food/eating/dieting/thinness in modern interracial, mixed-class work spaces and social spaces is very, very challenging for me, too.
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This is place where some exposure to black upper class culture probably could have helped me a lot. My adult sense of it is that black people with Jack and Jill kind of lives are most similar to white women's middle/upper class cultures in this: they talk a lot about thinness
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That just didn't happen a lot at the Boys and Girls Club lol
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Replying to @tressiemcphd
Oh, boy. Small talk. Middle East small talk can involve a lot of gallows humor. Well, sometimes it's also the case that things are dire.
Joke/reality aren't distinct. Very hard to translate to North American small talk without scaring the living lights out of the people.1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes -
Replying to @zeynep @tressiemcphd
I find middle eastern and South Indian small talk comfortable, tho. It’s so much more earthy and libidinal (and witty) than hwhite middle class small talk.
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I find that the small talk of almost any oppressed culture works for me. Jewish, middle eastern, etc. And it's precisely the shared sense of absurdity that makes it less taxing, even when I don't get all of the cultural nuances
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Replying to @tressiemcphd @DocDre
I had this convo with loved ones of 9/11 victims who'd formed a peace group. They'd lost the ability to small talk with people from past lives—but we could! They were like, huh? I was like, yeah, ordinary/white/mid-upper class Americans have no experience with political violence.
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People expected them to be constantly solemn, never smiling. Of course, they cried, laughed, complained about little stuff, had big moments, felt the historic responsibility, did not.. Definitely lots of gallows humor. Some of their "small talk" would've scandalized people!
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