If this academic/writer thing tanks, I’m opening a gym. Almost every gym I see is designed to be hostile to fitness. 
I’d stack weights in proper increments and according to real use! Get rid of most machines! Ban the word “tone”! Focus on form and progression, not lbs!
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Yes!!! I have the same issue. I can hardly talk to anyone. (And then I start working purposefully on losing body fat while retaining muscle and can’t talk to even more people, bc the sane folks are justifiably allergic.)
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Weeellll.
You just gotta alternate. 

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Yep! I’ve found some things that work great for me, but I also realize I’m not every woman. I really like the progression in https://www.amazon.com/Body-You-Guide-Womens-Fitness/dp/0345528972 … for breaking things down well.
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This is an excellent book! Shitty mobility means that a lot of bodyweight stuff is very not fun for me, so it's not my thing, but I really liked the progressions. I like powerlifting-style lifting and hardstyle kettlebell. Your shoulders would probably hate that shit.
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