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Frequently people admonishing others for lacking empathy give scenarios involving teaching or feedback. Rarely do you see any criticism of the abusive nature of people who constantly ask for advice/feedback too often or only when they want praise for being awesome narcissists.
Like if you’re constantly asking for feedback on half-baked crap then you kind of deserve bad feedback. If you are running to others for help every 30 minutes instead of working on your own then you’re abusing their time and again deserve bad advice. There’s a good reason:
You are hired to do a job using your skills. If your work is only possible with constant feedback and help from others—and they won’t be paid any of your salary nor get any credit for helping you—then you’re exploiting their expertise and undermining their ability to work.
What I don’t understand though is how someone like this possibly made it through school? I’m prettu sure if you constantly ran to your professor every 30 minutes for help you’d never make it. But, maybe people who do this only do it to those with little power, not a professor.
In a way, this demand for extreme “empathy” is more of a power grab from the powerless. This master of empathy never begs the CEO for help, or anyone in management. It’s a random coworker, and because that coworker has no power the help vampire can be offended by the tone used.
In fact, if the help vampire had empathy they would see that the other person isn’t being “abusive” and would take the tone in context. The simple act of taking offense at a tone which isn’t sufficiently submissive and fawning demonstrates a lack of empathy and abusive behavior.
Another way to put that is: If you scream “abuse” because someone didn’t use an incredibly gentle and submissive “tone” then you are an abusive narcissist. Adults don’t expect everyone to constantly kiss their ass. Only a narcissist thinks everyone has to tread gently with them.
And when you read the “abusive” words it’s laughable to call it that. Abuse is not “Well actually,”. Abuse is Steve Jobs telling a font designer his designs were “absolute fucking garbage”, which he did. But Jobs was a CEO…so y’all got no mention of that.
Abuse is when other supposedly “empathic” people hop on twitter to tell someone to commit suicide, or delete their account, or trying to get someone fired. Abuse isn’t telling you that the design you spent 20 minutes on needs more work. Thinking it is makes you a narcissist.
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