Zed A. Shaw, Painter

I've literally seen a guy with a bow standing on the edge of a river, staring at massive fish, going, "Damn! Why'd I bring this bow! I should have brought a fishing pole." YOU STUPID ASSHOLE YOU CAN SHOOT THE FUCKING FISH WITH THE BOW.

Most of the time the rivers are shallow and not moving, so he wouldn't even need a line on the arrow, just stand over the fish, shoot it, and walk over to pull it out. Wouldn't even lose the arrow. Could reuse it and do that all day long. Nope. Just stares at the fish.

Every contestant is terrible at gathering food. I think they're all told to follow the pattern of: shelter, fire, food. So they strictly do that, but shelter and fire take energy which requires food. It should be gather food and eat constantly, not wait 2 days to get some.

I've seen so many of them go, "Oh look, yams. Oh look, a snake. Oh look, fruit." And just walk right by it instead of snagging it and eating it or taking it. Whoever is teaching them this pattern is an idiot. Food acquisition is constant.

Speaking of fruit: Dear Naked and Afraid, please tell these idiots that you can cut down a banana tree with your bare hands. It's soft like very weak celery. Over and over they'll be looking up at huge clumps of bananas going, "Well darn that's high up." Cut that shit down!

The show is also getting monotonous so they're trying out weird formats. Threesomes, 4 people, XL, but the problem is not the number or mix of people, it's the people. Every show is mostly full of fitness douchebags with zero science background.

Because most of these people have no science background they tend to be totally clueless about simple shit like all the above. I'd like to see a VS format: Fitbros vs. Nerds "Team 1 is a former Marine and a Alaskan homesteader." "Team 2 is a Botanist and a Civil Engineer."

The competition is then whichever team comes out of the challenge with the *most* weight on their bodies. They weigh before, then after, and whichever team weighs the most wins. I think you'd have a much more interesting show, and a couple common outcomes: