When I received a call in March notifying me that I had been selected as one of the organization’s 2018 awardees, I was honored. I accepted the invitation, and my name was publicly announced as one of their honorees.
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Last week however, the organization’s leadership reached out to me. *During our conversation they shared that the organization’s Jewish members were upset at my being honored, because of my vocal advocacy on Apartheid Israel, and in support of Palestinian human rights.*
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Over the weekend, I was informed that pressure opposing my award was mounting. The organization’s institutional funding was being threatened and their Jewish members were threatening to leave.
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To be clear, I understand that this was not representative of all Jewish individuals, but there was indeed vocal opposition from certain Jewish leaders and organizations.
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They proposed several alternatives to be me being awarded:
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1. Could they honor someone at CAIR other than me? If that had been their original selection or maybe even if they hadn’t already announced that they were honoring me, that might have been ok. In this circumstance, this would in effect be using my own staff to undermine me
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2. Could they honor CAIR instead of me, and have someone other than me accept the award and speak on behalf of the organization? This was worse.
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As outsiders to our community and organization, it was unacceptable for them to attempt to dictate who our leaders are and to make an award to the organization contingent on the ED not accepting it
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3. How about if they didn’t decide this week, continued with the reception, and I simply did not attend? This was a desire to carry on business as usual while the unwanted Muslim remained out of sight. Additionally, it would extend their decision making with me even longer
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All of these options were intended to appease the opposing Jewish leaders but would also minimize my defense of Palestinian human rights and role as an American Muslim leader. This was unacceptable.
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I explained to them that the test of allyship is what you do when it’s challenging, in fact when it’s scary.
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We discussed that this was par for the course for Muslim leaders, that when we become visible, we are subject to selective silencing, because when we speak about Palestine it makes some people uncomfortable.
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I explained that I could not remain silent when my tax dollars fund the ongoing theft of land and Israeli killings of Palestinians, and that I do indeed oppose Zionism. I see it as racist, just like I do any other ethnic nationalism.
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However, this wasn’t about me and an award, Alhamdulillah neither I nor CAIR need their validation.
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This was about their choosing to let bullies set their direction, policing the way in which I express anger over my brothers and sisters being killed, evidence of why Muslims hold back on interfaith work, and just sincerely upsetting.
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If this was what they would do to a seasoned activist who manages the third largest CAIR office in the country, what message would it send to young Muslims? I communicated to them that I would not be complicit in this.
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If these options were the only choices, they would need to rescind the award. *I would not withdraw, nor would I permit them to apply a Palestine litmus test to me and then use our organization to marginalize my voice.*
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They would need to take responsibility for the fact that they were choosing to allow themselves to be bullied by individuals and organizations who were offended by my advocacy, and they would need to be transparent about that with their members and the Muslim community.
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So, they did. On Tuesday, they came to my office. They cried as they told me they would be rescinding the award. I held back on offering them any comforting words. It is not my responsibility to comfort those who make the choice to partake in the silencing of Muslim leaders.
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I told them we are disappointed in them, and that I understood their actions to run counter to our shared values. This would reflect on their relationship with the Muslim community, especially the movement oriented Muslim community.
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We will continue to work with this organization to advance civil rights, but we also now know the limited depth of their allyship and understand that they have much internal work to do in order to truly stand with Muslims.
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Every day we wake up to new and horrible news out of Palestine. This week, a volunteer nurse was killed by an Apartheid Israeli sniper. I lost an award. In the big picture of things, if that is my only sacrifice while people are losing their lives, I too have a long way to go.
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In the end, our honor comes from Allah and not people. *May He strengthen our resolve and commitment to human rights and ensure we remain sincere and steadfast in our efforts.*
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