Zack

@zackbenimble

i exaggerate more than everyone in the world combined

Minnesota, USA
Joined June 2008
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    29 Mar 2019

    "What's your name?" "Zack." "Is that with an H or a K?" "With a K. I know it's not very common." "Happy Birthday Zach!" "Thanks Aunt Sue."

    1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    Jun 15

    Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old-fashioned way: Reaching for the same book and falling in love instantly over a shared interest of unrealistic, slightly toxic ideas of love that will later cause us to realize that life doesn't work out that way.

    19 replies 223 retweets 1,360 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    brands pay to use social media and people use social media for free so brands buy people’s attention which makes people the product and brands the consumer that then communicates with their product on social media in order to sell more products to their consumers it’s science

    159 replies 312 retweets 2,179 likes
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  4. Jun 2

    The time I was quietly sitting in a crowded room full of people talking loudly at each other and I said, “I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor!” to no one in particular (only my roommate heard me) still makes me crack up.

    1 reply 3 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    May 25

    George Floyd was murdered one year ago today. Since then, hundreds more Americans have died in encounters with police—parents, sons, daughters, friends taken from us far too soon. But the last year has also given us reasons to hope.

    2,628 replies 21,083 retweets 154,014 likes
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  6. Mar 27

    Find your white whale. The perfect pair of jeans. You know the ones. Then when the company stops making them (😫), go online and buy up as many pairs as you can find. 👖👖👖👖👖👖

    2 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Mar 25

    Jessica Walters arriving in heaven, meeting St Peter, only to discover he is actually Gene Parmesan.

    326 replies 12,956 retweets 85,889 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Mar 25

    Quality comedy for the day

    5 replies 2 retweets 17 likes
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  9. Mar 25

    Text CHECKS to 644-33 to tell your senators that they owe us to end gun violence. You do have to enter your ZIP code and then it will set up a phone call for your senator.

    5 likes
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  10. Mar 24

    "How are you?" "Pretty good, just becoming more disillusioned by late-stage capitalism every day as for profit companies cut corners and foist the risks onto their customers, really society as a whole, to make more money faster. And you?" "I'm good."

    1 retweet 3 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Mar 23

    family of grandmother xiao zhen xie, the 75-year-old who fought back after an unprovoked attack in SF has raised almost $900K. following her wishes, they’ll be donating it all back to support AAPI community to fight racism.

    30 replies 1,047 retweets 2,925 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Mar 10

    My annual PSA ... This St. Patrick's Day, please remember it's Paddy not Patty. Unless you happen to be celebrating St. Patricia's Day in March which would be a little weird as her feast day is August 25th.

    1 reply 6 retweets 6 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Feb 22

    I really get confused when folks say America is “more polarized” than ever before. Like...ever?! EVER?!? Also is polarization our WORST problem because I am perfectly fine being polarized *by white supremacy.* We’ve framed this entire conversation wrong.

    140 replies 2,700 retweets 16,387 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Feb 9

    A lawyer using Zoom had to let a judge know that he wasn’t a cat after inadvertently activating a face filter

    11,388 replies 136,654 retweets 539,332 likes
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  15. Feb 7

    Super Bowl Sunday, the one day a year I allow Velveeta into my diet.

    2 likes
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  16. Jan 25

    hey i keep hitting unsubscribe to your emails but i keep getting them. what gives?

    1 reply
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  17. Retweeted
    28 Dec 2020

    The lighter penguin is an elderly female whose partner died this year. The darker one is a younger male who lost his partner two years ago. Biologists have followed them as they meet every night to comfort each other. They stand for hours together watching the lights in Melbourne

    3,026 replies 113,053 retweets 544,632 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2020

    64 replies 106 retweets 1,964 likes
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  19. 16 Dec 2020

    Merry Christmas from my cat to you in these strange times!

    6 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    10 Dec 2020

    me, vaccinated, having a flight of draft pours on a brewpub's patio in late spring 2021, crying with ecstatic, overwhelmed bliss: "all of these are lackluster at best"

    9 replies 397 retweets 2,468 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    1 Dec 2020

    Being good at things is not the point of doing them.

    451 replies 52,179 retweets 166,123 likes
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