yungdeleuze

With the money I made, I traveled the world, hiked the Inca trail, spent a few nights with a shaman in Peru, traversed the Burmese plains, spent a week at a monastery in Kyoto, learned Spanish, found Goya in the Prado, sailed around the archipelagos in Thailand.. and many more..

I’ll be forever thankful for what I achieved, but forever resentful of the culture that led me to believe it was worth achieving in the first place..

I made it, accomplished what I set out to achieve, and I wouldn’t trade anything for the experience of having done it. Spoke to my brother yesterday who is still in the corporate world, he told me he dreams of being a bartender in Texas sometimes..

My girlfriend has had a different life. She’s from a poor part of India, worked hard to get to JPMorgan there. She was told “Why do you work here? A woman should have a family.” She told me this was sexist.. sometimes I think there was actually some wisdom in that statement..

She works for big tech and we live in a tech city now. They pay her about 1/2 of her market value. But she can’t quit or get competing offers because of her visa situation. They know this. They didn’t give her a raise last year "because the stock price went up”.

Surely the year that the stock price goes down, they will give her a raise, right? They have assured her that her promotion is “imminent” for over a year now. That money would change our lives, if it lasted. She has started to become disillusioned.

I don’t think I contaminated her worldview, I tried hard not to. She worked for a few years in NZ before coming here, she often tells me now that “this place is not like NZ.”

I dream often now of packing up and moving to the country, maybe Montana or Wyoming.. with our computers, and start a new dream of a new kind of life. A new adventure, starting from 0. With an intention to build a home and a family. Funny how many roads lead back to the source..