Wake up, grow up, & clean up (taking longer than anticipated) to reduce force-fitting outdated paradigms and past based responses on present situations. I can now make better decisions based on the past, present, and desired future moment by moment.https://twitter.com/LifeMathMoney/status/1172765393737269250 …
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Replying to @yulitmiller
I underestimated how solid the hardwiring from my childhood would be. I can be fully aware of a pathological response and it’s origin story, but awareness doesn’t do a damn bit of good to change it unless I put in consistent, incremental work in rewiring my responses.
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Replying to @RyanGady
Yess! Only responsibly choosing a different behavior will do the job because we don’t have “benefits” data for this cost benefit analysis. We have an unknown for new behavior, so it requires courage and an understanding that the current pathological behavior is not working.
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Replying to @yulitmiller
Well said! And for me it requires continually reorienting toward the new choice. Almost like I’m slowly de-magnetizing the old choice, but if I let my awareness lapse I snap back to the old choice and re-magnetize it. But holding ground away from the magnet feels unstable.
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Replying to @RyanGady
Me too! The way I see it is data. The more data I have on the new choice having a higher ROI, the less compelling and hold the old choice will have. It seems to be a learning process.
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Replying to @yulitmiller
Do you have a background in risk assessment or behavioral economics? You seem to be very attuned to those processes.
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Replying to @RyanGady
Yes! I was an internal auditor, so I focused on managing risk in organizations, business processes, and supporting systems, through the lens of accounting and the enterprises' objectives.
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Replying to @yulitmiller
It’s an under appreciated skill in the eyes of those who don’t get it. Most of us operate unconsciously or emotionally re: risk, but it’s all around us every day!
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Replying to @RyanGady
Yes the way I see it is that our emotional and rational selves are constantly debating and making calculated decisions re:risk and payoffs.
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Replying to @yulitmiller @RyanGady
You're making the hypothalamus blush. We like to think it's a very sophisticated negotiation protocol, but really our hormones often just override rational beliefs.
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I've had frustrating internal power struggles all my life. The work has been integrating all sides. With reactive emotional responses, awareness & equanimity allow for responsibility, which is easier said than done. I do see that decisions are driven by cost benefit analysis.
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For example, automatic emotional responses are usually based on some sort of pre-calculation for survival or replication. But when doing the work of consciously seeing the impact of that behavior vs. the reward of a new & rational one, then I can actually be free of its grip.
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Replying to @yulitmiller @themarcusnewton
Yes. I see what you’re saying now. The problem for me, and prob for many, is that the CB analysis was run for most situations while I was a child/teen and very much in survival mode. I’m still running most of those programs today, and struggling to rewrite them for thrive>survive
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