Marie Le Conte

This would basically be a Wes Anderson movie scene if Wes Anderson had realised that non-white people exist.

Spent a portion of my evening stuck in the garden with my whole family, checking all the flower pots for the key the cleaner hid for us.

What I'm trying to say here is that I am battered but my uncle's just poured me another glass and goddammit, I'm doing this for France.

Morocco, while my uncles were barely tipsy. My parents have now divorced, and I've taken it upon myself to help my French reputation out.

Here's a story: when my parents were married, my (French) dad used to be the butt of the joke because of how drunk he'd always get in

Have for some reason bought a floor length black & gold velvet cape so I guess my Peter Mandeldrag act starts here.

Tried to draw an elephant for my cousin & our grandmother asked why I'd drawn him a uterus, so that's how day 3 is going.

anyway hello I am occasionally using relatives' phones to tweet whimsical holiday updates but not checking mentions so email if urgent

[Why does Ban Ki Moon deserve an official family nickname? I don't know. Does it help explain why I am who I am? Probably.]

TIL: Pokemon and Ban Ki Moon sound basically the same in a Moroccan accent so 'Pokemon' is his official nickname in my family.

Family holiday update: turns out I'm competitive enough to walk out from a football game with a 4 year old because he kept cheating.

anyway, leaving this godforsaken hellhole of a country to go visit my fam in Morocco, see y'all on Friday x

You know who you are. All of you.

In the war between people purposely misunderstanding tax & the pedants sneering at everyone who's not a tax expert, I want everyone to lose.

Why is Jeremy Corbyn taking so long to publish his tax return? I hope he's turning out all his drawers shouting "it's here somewhere".

this came back in my mentions because someone somehow dug it up and I'm still fully not over it