For those that might not get why this is bad: node has fs.readFile() which is async. Instead they block the process & then make it async :(
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To wrap up this rantrilogy (rant, trilogy), the IO calls in there weren't even necessary. They tied IO to their algorithm just because

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So many sad misuses of Promise. The number of times I see people using the constructor for flow control…
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The same people who think “callback hell” is a thing that must be solved by promises. Don’t mind us happily using functions/modules I guess?
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