bleeding out lol

@yet

the whole shack shimmies

Joined March 2008
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    15 Dec 2016

    I'm going to take a break from here.

    7 likes
  2. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    Scientists: We built a machine that can measure the warping of space to 1/1000th the width of a proton Politicians: Let's go with our guts

    127 replies 8,431 retweets 17,464 likes
  3. Jun 1

    today i needed this

  4. Jun 1
    Replying to

    baby-crow-in-the-garden update: that little grey fluff-ball is camping out in our purple frill mustard

  5. May 29

    there's this baby crow bumbling around the backyard right now; it's tripping over everything and it's pretty great

    1 reply 1 like
  6. Retweeted
    May 28

    These batteries greatly increase the capacity over lithium-ion:

    11 retweets 22 likes
  7. Retweeted
    May 25

    triyng to calculate the precise amount of gunpowder needed to blow up my dick, and only my dick

    102 replies 4,009 retweets 12,682 likes
  8. Retweeted
    May 15

    Ok so apparently, at a friend back home's office, the janitor was fired after it was discovered he was using the furnace to craft a sword

    49 replies 1,177 retweets 2,791 likes
  9. Retweeted
    May 16

    her: i guess it's impressive me (revving up my lawn mower): ya my dad left it to me after he died *i rev it real good and point to the sky*

    26 retweets 102 likes
  10. Retweeted
    May 16

    Come back Spicer

    Replying to @SkyNewsBreak
    The White House is on lockdown after someone attempted to climb over the fence
    1 reply 4 retweets 23 likes
  11. Retweeted
    May 11

    our future in space

    53 replies 4,266 retweets 9,852 likes
  12. Retweeted
    May 4

    "You can have health care." "Good!" "Unless you've been sick." "Um." "Or are sick." "I don't think that's how—" "Wait, are you a lady?"

    45 replies 9,660 retweets 16,383 likes
  13. Retweeted
    May 5

    *checks to make sure everyone is okay* god I love sinkholes

    2 retweets 10 likes
  14. Retweeted
    Apr 24

    Is there anything even 3/5 as bad?

    Nothing is worse than a Yankee telling a Southerner that his monuments don't matter.
    476 replies 13,405 retweets 44,600 likes
  15. Retweeted
    Apr 20

    This is amazing. Women who were harassed: $20 million. Men who did the harassing: $65 million

    $65M of the $85 Million in FOX harassment payouts is going to the men who were fired b/c of harassment allegations:
    364 replies 14,668 retweets 14,933 likes
  16. Retweeted
    Apr 19

    Periodic self-reminder that if an app booted one (1) user it could very likely dramatically alter human history.

    4 replies 6 retweets 23 likes
  17. Retweeted
    Apr 16

    we're at most 5 years away from completely automating the star wars franchise

    1:58
    Wow, this is terrific. Side by side with trailer and TheLastJedi.
    1 retweet 3 likes
  18. Retweeted
    Apr 14

    what if animals at the zoo had to drive there in the morning like it was their job. ok have a good weekend every one. war is coming

    94 replies 11,960 retweets 34,617 likes
  19. Apr 8

    the second-hand shame radiating off this thing is palpable

    8 likes
  20. Retweeted
    Mar 30

    USER: 200 times a day, CuckFuhrer420 threatens to kill my children TWITTER: would it help if he could tag an unlimited number of children

    22 replies 3,415 retweets 8,128 likes
  21. Retweeted
    Apr 6

    I just start bombing them. It's like a magnet. Just bomb. I don't even wait. And when you're the president they let you do it.

    4 replies 112 retweets 208 likes

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