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  1. Pinned Tweet
    15 Dec 2016

    I'm going to take a break from here.

  2. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    Scientists: We built a machine that can measure the warping of space to 1/1000th the width of a proton Politicians: Let's go with our guts

  3. Jun 1
  4. Jun 1
    Replying to

    baby-crow-in-the-garden update: that little grey fluff-ball is camping out in our purple frill mustard

  5. May 29

    there's this baby crow bumbling around the backyard right now; it's tripping over everything and it's pretty great

  6. Retweeted
    May 28

    These batteries greatly increase the capacity over lithium-ion:

  7. Retweeted
    May 25

    triyng to calculate the precise amount of gunpowder needed to blow up my dick, and only my dick

  8. Retweeted
    May 15

    Ok so apparently, at a friend back home's office, the janitor was fired after it was discovered he was using the furnace to craft a sword

  9. Retweeted
    May 16

    her: i guess it's impressive me (revving up my lawn mower): ya my dad left it to me after he died *i rev it real good and point to the sky*

  10. Retweeted
    May 16
  11. Retweeted
    May 11

    our future in space

  12. Retweeted
    May 4

    "You can have health care." "Good!" "Unless you've been sick." "Um." "Or are sick." "I don't think that's how—" "Wait, are you a lady?"

  13. Retweeted
    May 5

    *checks to make sure everyone is okay* god I love sinkholes

  14. Retweeted
    Apr 24
  15. Retweeted
    Apr 20

    This is amazing. Women who were harassed: $20 million. Men who did the harassing: $65 million

  16. Retweeted
    Apr 19

    Periodic self-reminder that if an app booted one (1) user it could very likely dramatically alter human history.

  17. Retweeted
    Apr 16

    we're at most 5 years away from completely automating the star wars franchise

  18. Retweeted
    Apr 14

    what if animals at the zoo had to drive there in the morning like it was their job. ok have a good weekend every one. war is coming

  19. Apr 8

    the second-hand shame radiating off this thing is palpable

  20. Retweeted
    Mar 30

    USER: 200 times a day, CuckFuhrer420 threatens to kill my children TWITTER: would it help if he could tag an unlimited number of children

  21. Retweeted
    Apr 6

    I just start bombing them. It's like a magnet. Just bomb. I don't even wait. And when you're the president they let you do it.

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