just noticed: the dominant part of my brain doesn't want me to have preferences, so it replaces the question of "do i enjoy doing x" with "should i do x" it's so automatic it happens *before* the part of me that has preferences is even able to assert them (cop v child brain?)
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Replying to @goblinodds
Like letting yourself have hobbies that are not secretly chores in disguise?
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Replying to @xstntlprvrt69
yes!! but for me it's almost the reverse--it has to look like a chore in some way to be worth doing, so even a seemingly frivolous hobby is fine if, for example, i can imagine figuring out a way to profit financially from it?
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Replying to @goblinodds
I act like my hobbies are supposed to actually be correcting for some area I feel deficient in - making me a better social dancer, a better fighter, more in shape, more fluent in my second languages, etc.
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Replying to @xstntlprvrt69 @goblinodds
Something fun would be like, IDK, Pokemon go or a weekly tabletop RPG or something.
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Replying to @goblinodds
"And for dessert, a bowl of plain oatmeal lightly dusted with raw cacao! Wow, I sure do appreciate the finer things in life!"
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*subsequently binges a dozen donuts* I'll clean up my act tomorrow.
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