I feel like this is the equivalent to someone clattering into your neighborhood in a hideous car and then pulling out a gun when they naturally get clowned over it like my GUY PLEASE RETAIN EVEN AN *OUNCE* OF CHILL
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Anyway here he is getting beat up by the townsfolk who weren't here for some stranger ass dude clip clopping his goofy way into their home and trying to stab their neighbor
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This goofy literal teenager just got his shit wrecked by townsfolk and used the few precious moments of consciousness that he stole to challenge the townie to a formal duel, all because he called D'Artagnan's redheaded horse redheaded
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Like he literally allowed himself to be beaten into unconsciousness because someone called his horse a ginger Somewhere in the future Alexander Hamilton is furiously scribbling down notes
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The annotations of this edition just Well Actually'd itself in this "WE ALREADY KNOW THIS *TRANSLATED* WORD IS USED INCORRECTLY HERE SO FUCK OFF BEFORE YOU EVEN START" way and I'm fucking loving this petty ass energy
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Imagine being called tf out in the annotations of a canonical work lmfao Anyway never piss of lit scholars!
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"...Who was not endowed with great perspicacity, did not observe the expression which his words had given to the physiognomy of the stranger" Dumas likes tonuse big words to use them sometimes like goddamn dude
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Jinkies what happened there To use* big words just* to use them
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Like My guy There are much simpler ways of saying that the host didn't notice Lord HorseRoaster's change in body language
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"The Stranger" DUMAS PLEASE YOU'RE NOT LE FANU YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS
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Augh ANYWAY ~tHe StRaNgEr~ who made fun of Ginger the Horse found out that D'Artagnan had a letter of recommendation to join the Musketeers and steals that shit while he's still unconscious, as any reasonable person who just had a man fight him over insulting his horse would do
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Stranger: A letter of recommendation to join the Musketeers, you say? Where's his bag again just curious Host: Oh it's in the kitch- oh wow there he goes, running to the kitchen in fear of this boy and nothing else Host... girl
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Fkfkkg The Stranger's hunny just rolled up in a carriage and demanded that he kill the beaten and clearly physically fucked up D'Artagnan, like girl who even are you and why do you have such a taste for bloodsport
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The Stranger and his lady both immediately leave on their horses which was extremely confusing before I realized that D'ARTAGNAN was the one calling for another fight D'ARTAGNAN, who is bleeding, suffering from some king of concussion AND HAS NO SWORD
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To add to the clown shit this host continues to do: he's now decided that D'Artagnan would be staying with him for 11 days at the rate of a crown a day to recoup his losses from The Stranger leaving, which also, oh so coincidentally, is the exact amount of money D'Artagnan has
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Like you gotta talk to people first dude how are you still in business
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Lord and here D'Artagnan is Kylo Renning all over the place because his letter of recommendation is missing
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Jfc thank GOD he still doesn't have a fucking sword because he broke the blade off of it in the last totally avoidable fight he was in
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The host, 3.4 years later: OH NO I THINK THE STRANGER MAY HAVE BEEN *STEALING* INSTEAD OF AFRAID Host, GIRL
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Ok so some background about The Horse: it was a gift from D'Artagnan's impoverished father, who absolutely loved tf out of this horse, wanting his son to keep it until it died considering that, it makes sense that D'Artagnan would have been mad about people talking shit about it
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That... said D'Artagnan damn near immediately sells it when he gets to Paris
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This horse That has caused the last like ?? Pages worth of shenanigans, whose former owner's near-dying request was to take care of it until it died and to NOT SELL IT T H I S HORSE GETS SOLD
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And then on top of that rude shit D'Artagnan is lying back in bed reflecting over the past few days of perfectly avoidable foolishness like "yep I did good"pic.twitter.com/OGhsj36lCQ
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