Is this something ppl even want to do? When I call ppl out on getting unnecessarily defensive, they usually say it's natural.
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Replying to @polotek
What I mean is that I rarely have ppl acknowledge that getting unnecessarily defensive is a bad thing. It's not something they regret.
4 replies 3 retweets 9 likes -
Replying to @polotek
People reserve the right to defend themselves. Even if they're wrong and the critique is valid. They feel right in protecting themselves.
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Replying to @polotek
This is important and something I need to explore. It means that any criticism will only get accepted much later. Removed from the incident.
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Replying to @polotek
Ppl often say they want honest feedback, and that they want it as close as possible to when the issue is occurring. This is common.
2 replies 3 retweets 6 likes -
Replying to @polotek
But the reality doesn't actually bear this out. In the moment, ppl take any criticism as threat. Defensiveness is the natural response.
3 replies 1 retweet 16 likes -
Replying to @polotek
This isn't always the case, but the burden of achieving the *exact* right delivery to avoid defensiveness is placed on the other person.
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Replying to @polotek
I don't think that's reasonable. I think it should be a goal of ours to get better at hearing valid, well-meaning criticism. Am I wrong?
3 replies 2 retweets 25 likes -
Replying to @polotek
Marco Rogers Retweeted konobi
This is NOT true. I really want to stress this. I am not immune to ego or self-centeredness. No one is.https://twitter.com/konobi/status/869623648331616257 …
Marco Rogers added,
4 replies 1 retweet 17 likes -
Replying to @polotek
I think it has something to do with being in a position where this is necessary to get what you need. It's a useful skill to have.
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
The best way to improve flaws is to listen when people point them out. It's orders of magnitude difference. Just easier to 


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