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Gentlemen and ladies, it has been an honor.
1 retweet 3 favoritesI'm in an odd mood to LARP.
2 favoritesWhenever I read a "Johnny Depp isn't cool anymore!" article, I imagine him consoling himself atop his huge piles of cash.
2 retweets 2 favoritesJust finished a feeding. Meadow's asleep but it's five. Deciding whether to stay up or catch a nap.
A five pound baby asleep on my chest might as well be Mjolnir.
1 retweet 1 favoriteTried to go full Worf and drink prune juice as a social justice warrior's drink. Results as expected and sponsored by Charmin.
My child walked into the bathroom, pointed my wife’s camera at me while I was pooping, and I swear took a picture. Then ran out. #scared
I like the bad password list but my favorite one was sssssvvvvckkk because my cat walked across the keyboard and I was like ok sure
1 retweetNo song speaks to my spirit like Diaper Money
The epic battle of Cheese vs. Espresso
2 retweets 4 favorites6 lbs of baby on my chest after 45 MLS of breast milk by mouth. I ain't moving. Totes nap time.
1 retweetI have this terrible cognitive dissonance when a "fun" Pepsi as plays before the Take Me to Church video.
Sitting in NICU with baby on chest. Must type one handed. Years playing a blood elf on Moon Guard finally pays dividends.
6 favoritesI'd like to see a @FlyingDog brew called the #KirbyDelauter in honor of our hometown celeb
So @frednewspost, you spelled out #KirbyDelauter with the first letter of every paragraph of your editorial? Bravo! http://bit.ly/1Fhz460
Been training my hound as a peanut butter detector. Working well so far.
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