Brayden Turner

I'm still alive, everyone.

Oh yeah... I have a Twitter account... #fivemonths

I need a back massage

I think I'm gonna be in school until I'm 40.

I get tired of the taste of my own foot in my mouth.

I love nature, camping, and being outside, but I don't mess with spiders. They are the bane of my existence.

Some of the arguments against abortion and same sex marriage really entertain me. Do you know what facts are? Or do you just guess?

You have the right to your opinion but just know, some people might laugh at it.

Just saw a sign that said "Smile! Your mom chose life." Uhhh sure?

My dependence on social media appalls me.

Took a phone from work and didn't tell them someone's working for me next week. That means I have to go back in there tomorrow again.

There has to be some rule against buying kids books and sex position books at the same time.

To the girls sitting next to me who look 16 and are loudly talking about alcohol while looking at me, you aren't going to impress me.

If there was a class on social skills I would be put in the remedial one.

I just hope people say at least half as nice things at my funeral like on posts where attractive girls say that they're ugly.

The universe produced laws to put together atoms and energy to make me, a highly complex group of cells and tissues, laugh at cat photos.

My phone will change correct words in to other correct words, but will only put a red line under wrong ones. My phone's an asshole.

It looks as though life roundhoused you in the teeth.

Spend $150 per textbook at the bookstore or get them for $20 or cheaper online? Hmm decisions decisions....