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  1. 7 Dec 2015

    "pico de gallo is when you look into the hasty pudding dressing room before the show" -

  2. Retweeted
    18 Nov 2015

    DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR unfairly at 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. The "and then" drive thru joke puts it at 50% minimum for me.

  3. 30 Sep 2015
  4. 16 Mar 2015

    hell is the other people in line at trader joe's

  5. 22 Jan 2015

    overheard at the office: "i don't have the birthright to buy "

  6. 6 Dec 2014

    you know what they say: small hands, no grapes for you. cc:

  7. 4 Nov 2014

    local subway : a bird in the hand :: express subway : two in the bush

  8. 1 Nov 2014

    "i'm very particular to what i'm open-minded about" - my father, a 21st century yogi berra

  9. 31 Oct 2014

    internet explorer: hard pass

  10. 17 Oct 2014

    rollerblading is a state of mind CC:

  11. 6 Sep 2014

    @tracysvedka on the tambourine: "it's actually not that hard"

  12. 10 Aug 2014

    when in nature, change "crickets" ringtone

  13. 30 Jul 2014

    new theory: is actually owned and operated by

  14. 11 Jul 2014
  15. 11 Jul 2014

    "on sale" at whole foods is just another way of saying "price at any other grocery store"

  16. 30 Jun 2014

    hello new , goodbye productivity

  17. 22 Jun 2014
    Replying to

    crapstraction: the bitcoin of the art world. RT : Why does so much new abstraction look the same?

  18. 20 Jun 2014

    "i've never been in a fight. except for that time a girl punched me in the face." cc:

  19. 15 Jun 2014

    where's k'naan?

  20. Retweeted
    4 Jun 2014

    Hello tweeps have you thought about today? Well, you just did. thanks

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