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It's not really that I fear anger. It's because it's too personal, I think, as a heterosexual, cis, white male who has loathed and feared toxic masculinity for longer than I've had a name for it, and yet who can see how he has also been implicated in it.
2018 was a very busy, somewhat stressful year for me. I didn't really get done everything I intended to. But for whatever reason the Kavanaugh hearings hit me the hardest, just dropped me into a deep funk for weeks.
Just the idea that this kind of asshole, the kind I've tried to avoid my whole life, was going to get away with it yet again. And what that says about where we are. Or I am. I know it's just one thing among many, but for whatever reason, it hit me so hard.
It basically was the only time in my life where I couldn't bear to read the newspaper. Or if I did, I just read the Arts section. Just couldn't deal with it and still function. I didn't really come out of it until mid-November — my trip to Paris dislodged me, for whatever reason.
Anyway. This is becoming something of a run-on Tweet, and not even getting at the heart of things. I just don't want to let this pass by — yet another thing I avoid commenting on because it hits a bit too close to home.
Note: Whenever I comment on anything non-nuclear, I get people who say that I should stay in my wheelhouse. Just a note, I *will* block you if you suggest this. Because this is my wheelhouse, too. I've lived with this stuff for a lot longer than I've been a nuclear wonk.
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