On causing conversational cache misses:https://twitter.com/webdevMason/status/994080521893371904 …
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Alas, often the question itself is a cache! Mutual cache-suspicion nation?
#MCSN
Yep. People mostly complain about "so, this weather!" small talk, but you can have small talk about big topics, too. It's a much better experience when people who are curious about each other & care about some of the same things happily offer their full attention to one another!
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True, but there is also good research on the value of "phatic communication" - i.e. exchanging kind trivialities just to re-affirm bonds and signal acknowledgment of the other person's presence. Problems arise when this is *all* there is....
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Dunno how well this has been tested, because I don't think many people show genuine interest in each other much at all. A performative "how are you?" is preferable to nothing, but asking it in a way that indicates that you actually care about the answer seems strictly better
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