I think you've really hit on something. No matter how persuasive I find an argument against a belief I hold, I still have to go through what amounts to a grieving process for the old belief before accepting the new. And that's a hard thing to decide to do.
By the way, if we haven't cracked being persuaded, then we haven't cracked being persuasive. We've largely been subbing in "winning an argument" as though it were the same thing, and attributing to magic that rare ability some people have to make other people actually do things
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I think the most underestimated thing about persuasion is that there thousands of ideas and concerns that inform people's thinking and decisions that never surface in any given conversation. It's why winning the argument is so irrelevant in practice.
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Thank You For Smoking is the best case study on this (which was weirdly co-produced by pretty much the entire PayPal mafia).
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Can you explain more?
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Being skeptical is unfortunately lagging behind, when it catches up we will notice some differences, e.g. the best politicians at winning elections may be the best politicians at ruling a country.
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Have you read any of
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