Strong contender for greatest day-to-day cause of reality distortion: mind projection/typical mind fallacy stuff. The intuition is that intimacy/closeness is about understanding another person, but maybe it’s more about turning off the social auto-smoothing & embracing confusion
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... It can also feel intimidating on the other end. We just do not have many interactions with people where it’s clear that they’re applying every ounce of attention and cognitive power toward experiencing us in the highest possible resolution in real time. It’s a bizarre feeling
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I think it's important to recognize that our social inattention is functional: it lets us hedge against rejection, allocate attention to safety/acceptance cues, fluidly ignore blunders/save face, etc. But wouldn't it be nice to reach through the buffer a *little* more often?
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