Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

What do you guys think having standards that are too high means? (Looking to kick off a deeper convo about this.)

To my mind it generally applies to early filters, the basic resume stuff you care about most when you've not actually gotten to know someone. @naval & I chatted about "dealbreakers" on CH once, and he pointed out that alignment on the genuinely critical life stuff is what counts.

e.g. What do you do if one of your parents becomes critically ill? What do you do if your kid isn't thriving at his or her school? If one of you comes to hate a secure and/or lucrative job, do you agree on whether to stay and suffer or cut back and go exploring?

At what point in a relationship are you addressing those issues? Seems like you'd be deep enough into the relationship that those issues are no longer deal breakers but become built-in points of contention that you continually sort through. Deal breakers only work early on.

Arguably the fact that it's become the norm to mess around with each other for months or years without entertaining the sort of commitments that suss these things out is part of the reason millennials struggle to commit at all

Sure, that might be one reason, but the heavier lifting is probably done by socioeconomic or psychological reasons, e.g. not being able to afford a home and start a family, or developmental stunting from social media use, respectively.