Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

I really don't think that part of it has much to do with the means of issuing rejection. Game-playing between people who *want* to date is semi-intentional, generally out of the (sometimes reasonable) fear that showing too much interest will cause the other person to leave

I think I agree that more of it comes from game-playing, but to me they both spring from the deeper frame that leads to both - putting immediate feelings and comfort over deeper values and consequences. You can't disentangle one from the other.

If "he doesn't value my feelings" weren't pretty close to the #1 complaint women seem to have about the men they date, I might see the argument? As it stands, it kinda just sounds like you have a pretty thick skin and you think the game should favor people like you

I don't think I see the connection between that statement and the current convo. Maybe you can point out the step? As an aside here's someone saying that this happened to them:https://mobile.twitter.com/AlexNelsonn18/status/1237177642929065987 …

"putting immediate feelings and comfort over deeper values and consequences" — if men think this is what is happening in the modern dating world, I don't think women would agree; I don't think they feel especially coddled or comforted.

I feel like you guys are talking past each other. Being indirect is a net negative because it’s disingenuous and sets the stage for miscommunication that just compounds over time. Now, I don’t think it’s something that can’t be overcome, it’s just an unnecessary hurdle

tbf, I have no skin in the game. I don't "date" in the traditional sense because it has *never* been an enjoyable or effective way for me to find someone to be in a relationship with. I'm relaying information based on a lot of tears cried onto my shoulder. Take it or leave it.

I've seen this failure mode *a lot* in hippies. I knew a few people who would interpret indirectness as a sign of dishonesty and get weirdly judgemental about it, rather than actually working to make the person comfortable enough to be direct.