Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

*stage whisper* what are the gender breakdowns of the people you two are talking about

I'm curious if you think men or women are likelier to desire an honest but gentle rejection. I genuinely can't tell, nor could I predict which is the case.

Presumably men? I have a lot of male friends, but — understandably — I don't think they've wanted to talk to me about being rejected. FWIW, I haven't outright rejected many men, and I wouldn't know how they took it. A few have been verbally abusive on the spot, but not many.

In my experience, women generally have a handful of insecurities they obsess over and if you make it clear that you're not interested in them they will assume it is for those reasons. Generally something like "I'm fat/ugly/old."

One of the nice things about leaving a little space between date and rejection is that it's less clear that you're being rejected vs. something/someone else being chosen. Easier to tell yourself that they're not over the ex, or they really are just too busy to date.

I would hope the correct gentle rejection can do this as well. I tell people before I go on a date with them that I can't control my experience of chemistry, and I've had beautiful, wonderful people who I like that I just don't have that spark with.

I think it's something some people are fine hearing, if a bit jarring. For others, it's not, and the person doing the rejecting is not going to be the same one who deals with the fallout.

Much of the time, it doesn't particularly matter either way, because neither person feels a strong attraction. It only really matters when one party really, really wants to pursue something that the other has no real interest in.