Which you're right, maybe you don't owe them dealing with their feelings.
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Replying to @mattgoldenberg @liminal_warmth and
This for me relate back to the point about intimacy. When I go on a date with someone, I'm acceptong the responsibility for potentially hurting their feelings. Part of that responsibility is letting myself be open to experiencing that hurt instead of shying away from it.
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Replying to @mattgoldenberg @liminal_warmth and
I don't think a first date is generally a situation where intimacy is in play. The stakes are supposed to be low. I see no reason to drive them higher. I can appreciate valuing honesty over harm reduction, but this is definitely not what most people in this situation want.
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Replying to @webdevMason @liminal_warmth and
Intimacy is always in play. From the very first message on a dating app. I think the question of what people want is an empirical question. I'll run a poll.
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Replying to @mattgoldenberg @webdevMason and
Matt Goldenberg Retweeted Matt Goldenberg
Matt Goldenberg added,
Matt Goldenberg @mattgoldenbergYou're on a date with someone. They're not feeling it and want to end the date early. They should... A. Pretend their friend has an emergency, reject me later when I ask for a second date. B. Let me know they're not feeling chemistry, in a gentle way during the date.Show this thread2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @mattgoldenberg @liminal_warmth and
Do you not notice you set that up? In condition A, it's "rejecting." In condition B, it's "letting them know... in a gentle way."
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Replying to @webdevMason @mattgoldenberg and
And nobody said anything about an emergency except you.
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Replying to @webdevMason @liminal_warmth and
How else could you make an excuse that you need to help a friend in the middle of the date unless it's an emergency? Would be totally rude if it wasn't.
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Replying to @mattgoldenberg @liminal_warmth and
It's a first date. You're not friends or confidantes. You can just say "sorry, something important has come up and I have to go."
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Replying to @webdevMason @liminal_warmth and
I mean, I would call that having making up an emergency?
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Replying to @mattgoldenberg @liminal_warmth and
When I think "emergency," I think an ambulance is coming. YMMV.
3:53 PM - 9 Mar 2020
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