Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

Signaling that you believe you’re communicating something devastating reinforces that sense in them, especially because the negativity around rejection is maybe mostly social (lost status, perceived unworthiness).

Yes! And lying about it is even worse because you're implying it was SOO devastating that the other person couldn't handle it.

At any given time, a lot of people are having a rough go of it. Under the best of circumstances, having someone you like tell you they'd rather not see you again is rough. If you do that, you'll never know how the rest of their day went. I'm gently suggesting you consider that.

OK, so you just lead them on for ever, never ever telling them you're not interested in seeing them? You'll have to tell them this eventually, the longer you lead them on, the crueler it is. I gently suggest you consider this next time you lie to someone about being into them.

Jesus Christ. I'm suggesting that it's not that terrible to leave early on an excuse and then decline a second date via phone or text. It's not something everyone wants to hear in public, when they feel they have to manage their reaction. Wtf are you talking about?

I mean, that's certainly a valid point. Here's another: If you have something hard to say to someone, you owe it to them to say it to them in person. You certainly owe it to them to not lie to them, the tell the truth when they can't really respond.

Why do you owe it to them to say it in person? I'm not sure I agree here Lotta assumptions in that that may not be true

You're right that it's highly contextual. There's very few contexts where I imagine lying to the person is the right move. I'd suggest that it's more about sparing yourself dealing with their feelings (which will be the same regardless) then it is about sparing them having it.