Yesterday I was on a terrible date with someone I was very not compatible with and didn’t know how to end it without hurting her feelings
So I invited her to hang longer and then bought her a coffee and then sat at a bookstore for an extra hour
How to not do this 
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Yes! And lying about it is even worse because you're implying it was SOO devastating that the other person couldn't handle it.
At any given time, a lot of people are having a rough go of it. Under the best of circumstances, having someone you like tell you they'd rather not see you again is rough. If you do that, you'll never know how the rest of their day went. I'm gently suggesting you consider that.
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tbf all of this sounds frankly horrifying to me, which is probably why I don't do dates
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I'm curious how you do romance? Mostly just gradually escalating friendships?
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OK, so you just lead them on for ever, never ever telling them you're not interested in seeing them? You'll have to tell them this eventually, the longer you lead them on, the crueler it is. I gently suggest you consider this next time you lie to someone about being into them.
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Jesus Christ. I'm suggesting that it's not that terrible to leave early on an excuse and then decline a second date via phone or text. It's not something everyone wants to hear in public, when they feel they have to manage their reaction. Wtf are you talking about?
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