the classic term for this is "self-hating," and no, it does not give you carte blanche to harass gay men
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I think the meta-pickle here is something along the lines of: "I really believe that EVERYONE's sexual preferences should follow my tribe's peculiar rules about human sexual relations, but I'd like a little carve-out for me." This pickle is real old. Ask the fundamentalists.
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"Who do I date?" Umm...no one. Spare us all, please.
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As a millennial, I only date people who identify as a universal explainer and not he/him or she/whatever since gender is a too easy to vary explanation of sex and of what/who to fuck
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You have excellent taste in people.
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Well, I guess a pickle is ONE alternative...
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Nope. Pickle is the product of colonialist capitalism, so that's out.
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Dammit. Well ... what about a home-grown cucumber then?
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