It's really sad to me that "care about the people you have sex with, and have sex with people who care about you" hasn't taken off as a norm. For just nearly everyone within the human bell curve, this works.
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Fear is such a negative force against intimacy, and yet — intimacy can be an equally powerfully force against fear. Genuine caring is what I think navigates the space between. Love really does rule.
IMO, we need to be honest about the fact that decoupling sex from intimacy is risky business, and we don't really know how to manage it from there. Sliding "the rules" around certainly doesn't cause intimacy to emerge, and it's not clear that it even mitigates immediate harm
