I think part of the reason I find trendy new sexualities like "sapiosexual" cringey is the implication that any firm sexual preference is an orientation, and thus that all the most important information about who you're attracted to is captured by orientation.
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Being able to operate in the dating market without having introspected every nook and cranny of your own sexual attraction is useful, as is being able to obscure some of the reasons you don't want to fuck most people you meet
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Orientation also suggests something external which a person is drawn to. “Sapiosexual” et al. mostly seem to function as a sort of motionless boast, either of orthodox beliefs (at a time when desire is deeply political) or of the glory a partner reflects onto the person boasting.
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> a time when desire is deeply political May I introduce the new prestige orientation: Democratsexual
End of conversation
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I'm guessing the whole sapiosexual thing probably started with just finding intelligence to be priority over other things like physical appearance when it comes to sexual attraction. It does seem odd to base an entire orientation on it, tho.
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I vastly prefer personalities to identities.
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I always understood sapiosexual to mean attracted to people's minds more strongly than their bodies, rather than to intelligent people. Sort of overlapping with demisexual, but more open to crushes on relative strangers.
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You don't have to TELL the person you turn down that you find them too unintelligent. Also, you don't have to tell them that you prefer smart ppl, and therefore imply the same.
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