Hypothesis: resilience to bad parenting is related to the ability not to notice bad parenting, or to reconcile it as natural and inoffensive.
Maybe, but as a counterpoint: many more young people told me that I was interpreting my childhood wrong when I was in semi-rural, economically-depressed Missouri. Here in SF, and in LA, many more people have been more shocked than I was prepared for
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I can see a possibility that in Missouri their circumstances were close enough to yours to trigger defensive reactions, where out here people who had been through it went through it in different ways and so react differently. I don’t know you of course though, so I’m speculating.
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