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Optionality isn't a *bad* thing, but it trades off against stability — if friends/partners can be replaced, they can replace you. An ideal cultural settling point allows people to abandon harmful relationships but feel secure in their net-positive ones during periods of turmoil
Importantly, committed couples & tight-knit friend groups enable better & qualitatively different outcomes than a bunch of individuals engaging in one-off trades. You can raise kids, build orgs, buy costly communal goods/investments, create financial slack during volatile periods
This all sounds really clinical, but love itself is *necessarily* the kind of commitment I'm talking about. It's a word that's thrown around a lot, but I don't think there's any reasonable usage for "love" that doesn't imply a high-risk, high-reward investment in another person
To love someone is to make yourself extremely vulnerable to their own outcomes. If what happens to them isn't intertwined with what happens to you on some deeply important level, I don't know how you can call that "love"
This is an important point and something I wish overly-political people would take to heart. Sure you can hope for your Manic Pixie Dream Candidate to become prez. Or you could like, start small, and actually *start* something, today!https://twitter.com/simonsarris/status/1164556119425114113 …
I don’t really disagree with either of you, but in my capacity as the chariot slave at every triumph I must say: not everyone gets to be loved; or in this case, will ever have access to the kind of proactive, directed relationships which high-functioning people can achieve.
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