Optionality isn't a *bad* thing, but it trades off against stability — if friends/partners can be replaced, they can replace you. An ideal cultural settling point allows people to abandon harmful relationships but feel secure in their net-positive ones during periods of turmoil
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Importantly, committed couples & tight-knit friend groups enable better & qualitatively different outcomes than a bunch of individuals engaging in one-off trades. You can raise kids, build orgs, buy costly communal goods/investments, create financial slack during volatile periods
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This all sounds really clinical, but love itself is *necessarily* the kind of commitment I'm talking about. It's a word that's thrown around a lot, but I don't think there's any reasonable usage for "love" that doesn't imply a high-risk, high-reward investment in another person
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To love someone is to make yourself extremely vulnerable to their own outcomes. If what happens to them isn't intertwined with what happens to you on some deeply important level, I don't know how you can call that "love"
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End of conversation
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YES. Some foundational parts of life are not meant for spreadsheets.https://twitter.com/ben_mathes/status/1163523325173223424?s=21 …
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