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Anecdotally, the #1 problem I see in high-caliber dating circles is a toxic tendency to wonder if one's current partner is the "best" they "can do." Shitty people retort that this is wrong because people should "settle," but that's just the flipside of the same bad pattern
I can tell you this with pretty high confidence: if "is this person the best I can do?" is a recurring thought after more than a couple months of serious dating, you're probably better off leaving now. There will never be a way to get your answer, and the question is poisonous
Part of the problem is that people don't know what do with each other. They're not supposed to be "codependent," whatever that means, and kids are no longer a given; a lot of couples just don't really know their *why,* beyond abating the lonelinesshttps://twitter.com/centralunplan/status/1180683888059965441?s=21 …
It's actually a hard problem to figure out what to do with each other if you've got two entirely independent career paths, no interest in building the same thing or compatible things, no desire for kids, etc. Which is why I think "codependence" is a bad meme, especially now
If it seems like the cultural climate encourages more entanglements with a serious business partner than a serious romantic partner, that seems... pretty problematic. But if relationships are more about consumption than production, it's hard to make the case against optionality
I'm stuck being trad but meanwhile math has given us the answerhttps://youtu.be/ZWib5olGbQ0
The concept of "settling," as soon as the word was coined, poisoned relations between the sexes from then on. Who ever wants to "settle" or feel like their partner "settled?"
I dunno, I’ve thought that too, and I ended up on “yeah she’s pretty damn amazing”. I don’t think the question is the problem, but the conclusions could be troublesome. The questions are completely natural when entering into a monogamous relationship.
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