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I swear to god I'm not going trad, but the more I think about it the dumber it seems to encourage young people to do some serial monogamy before partnering up — like people whose only practice is in explicitly disposable relationships would be any better at the real deal
Anecdotally, the #1 problem I see in high-caliber dating circles is a toxic tendency to wonder if one's current partner is the "best" they "can do." Shitty people retort that this is wrong because people should "settle," but that's just the flipside of the same bad pattern
I can tell you this with pretty high confidence: if "is this person the best I can do?" is a recurring thought after more than a couple months of serious dating, you're probably better off leaving now. There will never be a way to get your answer, and the question is poisonous
Part of the problem is that people don't know what do with each other. They're not supposed to be "codependent," whatever that means, and kids are no longer a given; a lot of couples just don't really know their *why,* beyond abating the lonelinesshttps://twitter.com/centralunplan/status/1180683888059965441?s=21 …
It's actually a hard problem to figure out what to do with each other if you've got two entirely independent career paths, no interest in building the same thing or compatible things, no desire for kids, etc. Which is why I think "codependence" is a bad meme, especially now
If it seems like the cultural climate encourages more entanglements with a serious business partner than a serious romantic partner, that seems... pretty problematic. But if relationships are more about consumption than production, it's hard to make the case against optionality
time to kiss dating goodbye...
They're not explicitly disposable, just as a practical matter they are because everybody's awful when they're young and our relationships are all almost all doomed to failure until we're more mature.
Except that this isn't really borne out in the data
Is it practice or is it shopping around before making a long-term decision?
Very romantic friend
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