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Maybe this wouldn’t have helped, but in my experience it is crucial to establishing the trust that is necessary for reasonable discussion (assuming that’s still necessary – often by this time it’s beside the point because the logic wasn’t really contested).
Frankly, I think you're completely misreading the situation. It's pretty apparent to me that the key dynamic driving this interaction is dominance, not hurt. And I think you perhaps think too little of young adults if you don't see any of this as absolutely horrifying.
