Related: "you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks" is generally bad advice. For one thing, it's almost universally unfollowable. But it's also a weak patch for a real problem. If you're actually better off not caring what anyone else thinks, you're not around the right people
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You *should* very carefully curate the group of people whose opinion of you matters to you. *Very* carefully. It's more likely than not that these people will shape you more than any other facet of your life. You choose yourself through choosing the people close to you
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Soon: "Who needs people when you have caterpillars"
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Ideally they are also big enough to admit when they are wrong, and you feel safe doing the same, so you can learn together instead of just harmonizing on all your priors... I feel lucky to be surrounded by people like that at home and at work.
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Funnily enough, becoming surrounded by such people is often a primary motivation for improving oneself in the first place.
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This is great advice, but... Such people are rarer than any of us would like and if you don't already have it together yourself... It is less a sorting and matching problem than a friendship version of assortive mating. Being stuck in a bad equilibrium is a persistent risk.
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not an argument, just a story: I was born into kind of a relatively unpleasant equilibrium (3/10?) and I have devoted a large part of my life to addressing this. In my experience it can require a persistence that appears almost manic. Years and years of failure after failure
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I'm doing the opposite of this
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'You're the average of the 5 people you spend your time with' holds true. I believe that you should not care what other people think of you because - you can't know what they actually "think" of you unless expressed - it's a control fallacy, you can't control what they think
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