Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

I thank my lucky stars every morning I style my hair and apply my own makeup like some sort of goddamn lunatic and live to see another dayhttps://twitter.com/thinkprogress/status/1162846820894171136 …

I've actually started a multi-step bleach & color process on myself. Jesus take the wheel

Just double-checking: you're not supposed to drink the chemicals, right? I AM UNTRAINED SEND HELP

Guys, if I suddenly stop tweeting it's because I'm unconscious on my bathroom floor with orange hair having managed to strangle myself with hair ties and/or eat most of the applicator. It is crucially important that you not send any attractive emergency response personnel

If a year of formal training is the absolute minimum requirement for performing this potentially deadly service for others, *why* is every big box store in the US permitted to sell these products to an unsuspecting public? I don't like to toss out words like "genocide, but

don't mean to alarm anyone, but the first time I helped my mother color her hair, I was maybe... 10? 11? We both could have died. It's a miracle I wasn't rehomed on the spot. And by miracle, I mean "tragic lack of government oversight"