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"But Patrick, wouldn't it be terrible living in a city where the mere sight of you would cause microaggressions like 'I wish you people would just go back where you came from'?" Good point, that is also a reason to prefer a cosmopolitan, diverse, and welcoming city like Tokyo.
If you're going to pitch this hard on my feed, you're obligated — or such is my understanding — by traditional Japanese custom to invite me to your home for a warm meal, a brief introduction to the local norms & a list of phrases locals may use to cheerfully call me fat 
You should come out to Tokyo! Ruriko and I would be happy to have you over for dinner which <this joke is for people who know>might be cold because Japan has four seasons</this joke is for people who know>.
This is legit the best use of pseudo HTML tags I have ever seen
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