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webdevMason's profile
Mason 🏃‍♂️✂️
Mason 🏃‍♂️✂️
Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️
@webdevMason

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Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️

@webdevMason

LA → Oakland
calendly.com/masonhartman
Joined July 2015

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    Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️‏ @webdevMason 21 Jul 2019
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    Pro tip: nothing ruins a first date more effectively than getting trapped in small talk. If he asks you a question that's going nowhere, don't be afraid to pretend to mishear him and respond by shouting "THAT RECORD WAS SEALED!" Builds intimacy

    2:10 AM - 21 Jul 2019
    • 15 Retweets
    • 204 Likes
    • Westerbly Snaydley Max 🌐🏛️🐍 stupid twitt account UniMan Brian Hank georgeallendick Adam B.omb Jason Bucata
    4 replies 15 retweets 204 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️‏ @webdevMason 21 Jul 2019
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        In the past, he may have expected to get the check, but times have changed and it's now far more typical to split the bill. And of course, if you end up spending the night (you go, girl!) make sure to leave a cash payment commensurate with a market-rate Airbnb on the nightstand

        6 replies 5 retweets 100 likes
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      3. Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️‏ @webdevMason 21 Jul 2019
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        Ladies! We may all have our "perfect man" checklist, but remember that love can be found in unexpected places. That said: if he chews out the waiter, possesses an unknown quantity of tentacles and drives you to psychosis via physical contact, that is Cthulhu and you should flee

        3 replies 7 retweets 94 likes
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      4. Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️‏ @webdevMason 21 Jul 2019
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        If he's touching you often, that may be intentional. Pick-up artists suggest this as a means of getting things to move a little more quickly. Like him? Reciprocate! Lean in, tell him he's your new emergency contact and you think it's about time the two of you got a puppy

        4 replies 3 retweets 129 likes
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      5. Mason  🏃‍♂️ ✂️‏ @webdevMason 21 Jul 2019
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        If you're looking for something serious, there's no point wasting time with someone who doesn't want the same things you do. So while it may feel uncomfortable or presumptuous, the right time to ask "are you a human male or thirty-six ferrets in a trenchcoat?" is immediately

        3 replies 11 retweets 155 likes
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      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. José Luis Ricón Fernández de la Puente‏ @ArtirKel 21 Jul 2019
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        Replying to @webdevMason

        They: Hi, how are you, nice weather? - WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU LEARNED LAST WEEK, THE CLOCK IS TICKING

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      3. José Luis Ricón Fernández de la Puente‏ @ArtirKel 21 Jul 2019
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        Replying to @ArtirKel @webdevMason

        (In a less screaming way, I like this approach; @LauraDeming does it well)

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Gabriel‏ @gbrl_dick 21 Jul 2019
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        Replying to @webdevMason

        One approach to dating is to treat it as a prisoners dilemma where one or both of you could just be trying to get a free meal. Suss out whether your partner is a stooge by ordering increasingly outrageous menu items and pointing out that this won’t matter if it’s a Simulation

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
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      1. Wotton‏ @WottonLang 21 Jul 2019
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        Replying to @webdevMason

        i like to go the other way Her: holds out phone shows me picture of her 'doggo' Me: pull back sleeve to reveal skull tattoo, ask her if she as a memento mori

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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