I think the western concept of “dating” is *drumroll* outdatedpic.twitter.com/1S5PPASGOB
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youtube.com/visakanv ( ❤️ if you subscribe!) Retweeted 5'9
Caveats first: my first-hand experience is laughably limited as someone who married the first person who showed any romantic interest in me but I do collect tonnes of anecdotes from friends who are looking for dates and it just seems really grim to mehttps://twitter.com/priya_ebooks/status/1151440389879951360?s=21 …
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More bias: I am extremely online and extremely public, so what “seems obvious” to me might be something that’s difficult or inaccessible to others. I believe almost anybody can benefit from some controlled dosage of my way of being, but again, maybe not, your mileage may vary
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Before even going into details - where did the current mainstream concept of dating come from? My theory is that many of us inherit an idea of it from pop culture, which in turn seems to me (pls correct me) to riff off of post-WW2 western/white norms. Guy asks girl out on datepic.twitter.com/OntJ8Yvf7T
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youtube.com/visakanv ( ❤️ if you subscribe!) Retweeted youtube.com/visakanv ( ❤️ if you subscribe!)
Pop culture, in turn, until very recently, has been heavily shaped by male perspectives, male writing, male fantasy. (I know, I know, I can never talk about just one thing without talking about everything else...)https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/896089241930706944?s=21 …
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I believe that human beings are *as a species* extremely resilient and adaptable, and that human relationships *in aggregate* respond to systems of incentives. But most individuals tend to roughly do what they see everyone else around them doing, even if it’s no longer sensiblepic.twitter.com/QLevsQNbMm
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So okay, let’s go to first principles. We are fundamentally social creatures who need companions. The desire for pair-bonding seems extremely widespread (tho even this could be cultural to a degree we cannot appreciate... but let’s not go there rn
). Point is: we want partnerspic.twitter.com/XaOojkVrBq1 reply 1 retweet 10 likesShow this thread -
We want partners. (Partners for what? A range of things! Someone to share memes with. Someone to share intimate moments with, both physical and psychological. Different people actually have rather different sets of needs, but mainstream culture has a “standardizing” effect.)pic.twitter.com/a6uTDP74Rw
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So how do we find partners? To play with, to share burdens with, to be intimate with? I personally find this hilarious and sad: we literally go on job interviews.
That’s what dates are, aren’t they, most of the time? Two people anxious to match each other’s criteriapic.twitter.com/roXzWcanKG2 replies 0 retweets 35 likesShow this thread
Mason 🏃♂️ ✂️ Retweeted Mason 🏃♂️ ✂️
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Replying to @webdevMason
How are we the same person
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