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Synthesis: many of us are dependent on Having Someone, but utterly unwilling to be dependent on someone *specific*; it’s the specificity, with all the compromise and interweaving that implies, which terrifies. We are frozen in-between, unable to be truly together or truly apart.
Yes. With sufficient optionality, at any given time you're more likely to have *someone.* But unless you're willing to sacrifice optionality, you'll never be able to collaboratively build anything, and you'll keep telling yourself it's because you haven't found "the right person"
An analogy: I’m 37, a liminal time, and habitually refer to myself as “middle-aged.” This is in part to avoid the fantasy of having endless time, endless choice, always another chance to make things perfect. Choosing someone is choosing a self, & accepting the passing of youth.
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