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If you dance a dance that few people are capable of dancing with you, you will rely on them. They will not be exchangeable. There are NOT plenty of fish. You will learn to trust and to be trustworthy. You will have something to lose. This scares people, so indeed it is pathology
You know what scares me? The alternative we're living right now, where 30-something women cry into their wine with their closest friends that Base Model Male #357 on Tinder thought her labia looked weird
That tweet had a twist ending (just like that one 30-something's labia)
Yeah this is scary.
Synthesis: many of us are dependent on Having Someone, but utterly unwilling to be dependent on someone *specific*; it’s the specificity, with all the compromise and interweaving that implies, which terrifies. We are frozen in-between, unable to be truly together or truly apart.
For personal reasons (including moving cross-country to LA) I’ve had to put the work in over the years to be comfortable alone, and it’s never been easy. But I can’t say I envy people in the dating market who seem to fear and resent their own desires.https://mobile.twitter.com/TheAgeofShoddy/status/1145566736277626880 …
Base Mode Male #357 was a mistake before he even told her that her labia looked weird.
*This* is often what codependency looks like: people desiring a relationship so they can complain about their partner. It's almost the opposite of what you are trying to convey, which, again, I think quite good
Long distance relationships with people met their friends or family have been the winning formula for myself and most of my friends. No need to reinvent the wheel
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