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Maybe the problem w modern sexual culture is that everyone's doing the macarena, because it's easy, anyone can do it with any number of others, it loops without incident. But it's not sexy, even with sexy people. A dance like this is dangerous, it can change & it can change *you*https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1145752580003209216 …
...I actually think about this a lot, specifically the maligning of "codependence." This is thrown around as though it's plain as day how much reliance on one's partner in life is "excessive." My hot take is that we have a MUCH bigger problem in precisely the opposite direction
If you dance a dance that few people are capable of dancing with you, you will rely on them. They will not be exchangeable. There are NOT plenty of fish. You will learn to trust and to be trustworthy. You will have something to lose. This scares people, so indeed it is pathology
You know what scares me? The alternative we're living right now, where 30-something women cry into their wine with their closest friends that Base Model Male #357 on Tinder thought her labia looked weird
Not sure what I actually want to say about it but finding myself wanting to share Contact Improv with people. It's partner dancing, but with no lead/follow distinction and involves both partners literally putting weight on the other.
@visakanvhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQRF2sLK1vY …
It is striking because it's the kind of dancing that you can do beautifully with a bunch of different people, but (unlike the macarena) each iteration is totally unique and unrepeatable. So it's neither purely interchangeable nor based on learning the same moves. Attunement.
on a case-by-case situation, you get to call it either "commitment" or "codependence" whichever shields your pride more!
Omg so much this. So many people seem to have these stand-offish relationships with their SOs. Not sure if it's exactly the same, but I think related thoughts when i see people bitching about their SOs to others, or even trying to process with others a fight w their SO
I think this whole thread is very evocative and has a lot of truth... But "codependency" is a very different thing from what you are describing. Beyond that detail, I think you are really on to something with this line of thought.
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