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If you want me to refer to you as "he," "she," or "they," I am happy to do that, no questions asked! If you want me to believe something about what gender is or how it "works," you'll have to supply me with arguments that persuade me.
Another point brought up in this piece is that for a lot of people, gender is coded *deep.* (IMO this may be a function of how strongly one feels one's own gender identity; for me, it's strong — I'm not "cis by default.") Some aspects of the model may be straight-up inaccessible
Which is exactly the point. We need to be able to agree to "accessible" points of entry for conversations like this. Noble attempt, but it will continuously fail when you and your interlocutor are running nearly antithetical systems. "Accesibility" is not a standard!
The shoulder brain metaphor gets obliquely to the sense many people have that norms for the social realm- give and take, mutual exchange external to the self- are being used to demand changes in the internal realm, to things which feel organic and profoundly personal.
Agree and super good point! One thing to understand here is that people like me and other trans and NB folk have spent and often still spend our lives where most people are constantly imposing something that feels profoundly wrong on our internal realm.
I can't easily guess at the ratio & I don't have any opinion on which is "healthier." I don't usually find myself romantically attracted to people who lack a fairly strong gender identity, but aside from that, I haven't noticed anything that would indicate significant pros/cons
I'm curious. What would be your response to someone who explicitly said "internally, I feel just as female as you, but I have a political belief that we should destroy the concept of gender, and as part of that I'd like to be called they"?
I don't really care why someone wants to be called whatever they want to be called. I don't want to destroy the concept of gender, but I don't think calling people "they" when they want to be called "they" is going to do that, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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