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Good post getting at something I'm always trying to articulate better: It's reasonable to ask people to refer to you as you identify & it's rude to not honor such a request unless it's especially burdensome. It's not reasonable to demand one's internal models rearrange themselveshttps://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1136735610817744896 …
If you want me to refer to you as "he," "she," or "they," I am happy to do that, no questions asked! If you want me to believe something about what gender is or how it "works," you'll have to supply me with arguments that persuade me.
Another point brought up in this piece is that for a lot of people, gender is coded *deep.* (IMO this may be a function of how strongly one feels one's own gender identity; for me, it's strong — I'm not "cis by default.") Some aspects of the model may be straight-up inaccessible
When I first started to transition I started to think about fashion and gender presentation very much in a design context. If I want a user to follow my design intent of calling me she, it’s reasonable to convey she-ness with earrings, skirts, pronoun pins.
I often wonder how much gender identity as a phenomenon lives in the higher order yomis of how I think you think I think ... you see me. My current working theory of sapience is that self emerges like steel from repeatedly folded iron — loops of how ppl predict ppl predict &c
Preferentially breaking pronoun/etc convention is contradictory: if everyone did it, no-one could – the words would become meaningless. A sense of incorrectness is ineradicable. The only sensible revision is abandoning gender-terms. Promote the Finnish 
"#hän" !
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