"Hey, that person is hot" is never how I have understood sexual attraction. There are many people I find physically attractive and have zero sexual interest in.
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I get that. From my perspective: mainstream sexual culture is increasingly inhospitable to any sort of sexual complexity for straight[ish] people, and there's a simultaneous explosion of queer theory territory that seems to *almost* just capture "I'm a complicated human."
It increasingly feels like — within the circles I find myself in — without a set of labels to protect yourself, you're just assumed to be DTF. There's a sense in which "monogamous sapio-demi-bisexual" isn't *wrong,* but it's too reductive. I feel some resentment about it.
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And also, approximately the last thing I'm interested in is getting in the equivalent of a dick-measuring contest with people who identify as demisexual about how few people we fuck. I just want to be able to date without it being the living nightmare it always is, every time
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