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For those who were isolated and battered around for their differences, it's difficult to not carve an ego out of the scar tissue. And it's hard to let go of a prize you paid that much for. But the upshot is a family *way* beyond family-by-blood or even family-by-choice
Speaking for myself, here: I felt like if I could be smart enough to think something new and important, I could be loved for that. Etch my name onto a plaque! It didn't even occur to me that ideas could create any real intimacy. You just force yourself onto a higher perch, right?
Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of outcome-oriented ladders to climb that won't slip out from under you if you don't prioritize your own grip over all else, and to get to those you have to be willing to attempt a jump that you might miss. I recommend the free fall, guys
IMO, there's no practical way to play into a point-scoring culture re: ideas w/o yolking your brain to a harness on which the blinders come standard. That's not to say you should avoid excellence or wealth — nope, nope — just that credentialism and track-mindset are pernicious.
Something about this thread makes me think of bonsai trees.
Beautifully framed. I have found real closeness with someone who’s thinking about the same issue, even when we disagreed.
Familiar. Painfully so really, though for me it was less about love- I expect that not- and more about self-defense and justification. I’m about 10 years older than you, I think; I wonder what life might have been like if intimacy of the mind had ever seemed a possibility to me.
You dont have to think of or create something new to be loved. Having that amazing curiosity about the world we live in is even something that's attractive.
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