(Although I have seen some very creative new flavors of snitching, e.g. "I have a pet peeve, do you want to hear it?" ["Yes."] "...so-and-so always leaves his things on the table by the power outlets. It's SO annoying.")
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Some things I've noticed from hanging out with kids but trying to refrain from telling them what to do or stop doing: - They're less efficient but more generative - They invite you to see more of what they do - They less frequently try to use you as a weapon (e.g. "snitching")
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Thinking a lot about the pros & cons of top-down behavior policing... there's some friction when kids have to negotiate *with each other* to keep noise down or share things/space, but they usually figure it out (not always fairly). This seems like pretty important social practice
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These social negotiations can be REALLY stressful. I think a lot of adults who supervise children intervene by default because it does take pressure off the kids. But the stress is usually short-lived & as long as kids can escape/decompress as needed they seem to bounce back fast
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"They're less efficient but more generative"--sounds about right! Kids can easily learn to be 'efficient', in ways relevant and useful to them as individuals, later in life.
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I'm curious what categories of instructions-to-children you were able to omit. Most of what I tell my kid to do or not-do are about making supervision itself less costly to me so I can sustainably do it, preventing mess generation, and safety stuff.
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This is mostly in a school setting, so I get to free ride on a lot of pre-existing behavior norms for the space & the other adults much more actively policing behavior. I'm mostly trying to not interfere with the tasks they do, conversations, etc.
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I lost a good portion of my drive soon after I had my last bad teacher.
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Where do you draw the line between using you as a weapon vs. just wanting help with conflict resolution?
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It's usually obvious because the conflict is obscured, e.g. "So-and-so said a swear word" vs. "So-and-so took my bag and won't give it back." A rule violation vs. an actual problem that needs solving
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