They/them is colloquially both a particular pronoun preference (e.g. for non-binary folks) and a default for individuals whose gender is unknown. If you know it's not my preference, and you know what my gender is, don't be an asshole.
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For one thing "it" is least exclusionary of all, and is a common catch-all referent for people *and* objects in a number of Asian languages. But for people familiar with a language that distinguishes between animate & inanimate, it can be hurtful. Likewise with "they" in my case.
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I don't feel that I have the right to actually compel anyone to refer to me by my name, pronouns, etc. If someone wishes to call me "that person" instead of using my name, or "they," or "it," i will simply stay away from them and take up the company of more respectful people.
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